Helping a Child Through Anger Outbursts

Here are some strategies to help the child during big feelings of anger and frustration:

1. First, make sure the child is safe and not at risk of hurting themselves or others.

2. Then, remove the child from the situation, and step away.

3. Turning Grounding Switch

• Provide a silent or calm presence
• Remember, it isn’t always easy
• If you’re angry or frustrated as the adult, it’s okay and normal, and you can discuss with the child after they’re calm/de-escalated
• Avoid the word “no”
• Try not to feed off of their anger
• Don’t get caught in a loop arguing
• And don’t give in to power struggles

4. Distraction

• Get the child’s focus of attention away from the situation, as this helps with the physical and possibly verbal responses until the child is ready to talk

• Also, suggest the child gets a drink of water, engages their 5 senses, punches a pillow, etc.

5. Ask what happened/cause of anger

6. Then, validate their feelings and reflect

7. Finally, collaboratively speak with the child and come up with solutions and steps if a similar event were to happen

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Also, check out Dr. Sharie Coombes’ book When I Feel Angry: A Book About Feelings for younger children.

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